Weirdos at the Theater

Maybe it's just me, but when I pay $15 to see a movie, I want to actually see it and hear what's going on and  be entertained. Heck, I spend this much money, and I do not want to see anything different. I am not afraid to shush people if they are loud and annoying. I am generally a nice, quiet person in public, but at the movies, there is a sort of reverence. Seriously, why are you talking during a movie? Go text outside. Go finish your conversation somewhere else. No wait, don't even bother to come in if you know you're just going to be annoying anyways. 

Don't even try to bring chips, cans, or loud things into the theater (like children). You will invariably get punished. Don't bring food into a theater. Candy's fine, everyone loves candy. I'm talking about the full on meal in a plastic tupperware kind of food. No. NO. NO. NO. Everyone can smell it and you will be ashamed of your life. Save yourself from this social embarrassment and just eat beforehand. 

Okay, seriously, who are you parents that allow their kids to see loud, violent movies? They will scream, or yell, or ask what's going on, and it is not okay. Not okay. 

I came here to step away from the pain and brokenness of the world to see Zac Efron. I do not want to see the bright light of your phone, 15 year old twerp. What makes you think it's okay to text in a dark, spacious, multi level room? Everyone can see your phone and everyone will ultimately hate you. And when I say 'ultimately', I mean before you even walked in the theater. 

The huge lady who takes up 4 seats. One chair for herself, both armrests to rest her tired huge flabby arms, two chairs to hold her bags, and one seat SAVED for a friend. My goodness. 

The simple minded people who ask questions the whole time. "So are they related then?" "What's her name again?" "Why are they shooting?" "What makes his mission so impossible?" 

Do not come to the movie if you are like this. Please. 

I Have Lost My Humor and So Here's a Guide on How to Party

I don't know how to be funny anymore. I just spent 20 minutes trying to write a new blog entry and ended up writing about cats. Ugh. I've been BUSY okay. Who even reads blogs anymore? I knew this girl who used to follow a ton of blogs and actually read them. Now she is far sighted and is really dorky and is kind of chubby. She owns a Kindle and talks about One Direction and wears tortoise shell glasses. Don't end up like her.

How to Party:

1. Look hot. 

2. Put on your sexiest outfit. 

3. Women: wear makeup that looks good on you. I won't even say 'if'. Yes, you will wear makeup. I'm forcing you. 

4. Guys: wear makeup if you want. 

5. Drink a redbull. 

6. Go to a party. 

7. Dance your little heart out. 

Okay there you go. Don't be a loser and sit on the sidelines the whole night. You're an idiot.